Breastfeeding Took Up More Mental Space Than I Ever Expected
One of the things that surprised me most about breastfeeding wasn’t just the physical side of it - it was the unexpected mental load.
At different points in my feeding journey, I found myself constantly thinking about it.
Am I doing this right?
Is he getting enough?
Was that a proper feed, or just comfort?
Which side did I feed on last time?
Breastfeeding has a way of occupying a lot of space in your mind - whether you’re early on, months in, or somewhere in between.
When I first started, there was a lot of awkwardness. I wasn’t confident in how to hold my baby or position him. Latching didn’t just magically click for us. He was learning. I was learning. And there was a lot of self-doubt in that process.
But what I didn’t expect was how long that mental load would linger.
Even once feeding became more physically comfortable, the questions didn’t just disappear. They changed.
Was he feeding enough now that he was more distracted?
Was he unsettled because of something I ate?
Was I meant to be doing this differently by now?
You spend months growing a baby inside your body, and it’s easy to think that once they’re born, that part is done. But breastfeeding is another form of growing them - just outside of you. And that carries its own weight.
For me, reassurance made all the difference.
A close friend who had been there before told me something I’ve never forgotten: breastfeeding isn’t something you either “get” or don’t. It’s a learned skill. And not just for you - for your baby too. Both of you are figuring it out together.
That reframing helped me breathe.
Over time, feeding did become easier. Not because I suddenly had all the answers, but because I trusted myself more. I stopped questioning every feed. I noticed when my baby was settled. I allowed things to unfold instead of constantly asking whether I was doing it right.
We went on to breastfeed for 23 months.
The second time around, I carried that confidence with me. Not because every feed was perfect - but because I knew that questioning myself didn’t mean I was failing. It meant I cared.
If there’s one thing I’d want any breastfeeding mum to know - wherever you’re at - it’s this:
If breastfeeding feels mentally heavy at times, that’s normal.
If you’re still learning, that’s normal.
And if it doesn’t always feel easy, it doesn’t mean it never will.
Sometimes it just means you’re in it.
And that’s enough.
